


Not Tonight

by Iaintnosidekick



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, F/M, Fluf, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Fource bond, Inconvenient Force Bond, after the last jedi, post episode 8, they just want to sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-16 22:11:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13063197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iaintnosidekick/pseuds/Iaintnosidekick
Summary: Hi guys! I just saw the Last Jedi and cannot get over it! I saw a post by @marieunicorngurl on Tumblr and just had to write SOMETHING ^.^ Just a bit of fluff to usher in the new age of the Star Wars Fandom! Come forth, my friends! WE HAVE BEEN VALIDATED!!!





	Not Tonight

Rey was so tired.

It had been a long week, probably the longest of her life, and it was the first time she had had the opportunity to sleep in a real bed. In reality, it was just a small military cot, but to her, it was one of the greatest luxuries she had ever experienced. Even the coarse blanket felt comfortable and began to hold in heat only seconds after she’d wrapped herself under it. Her body had hit the mattress like a rock and it didn’t take long for her mind to start to drift. All worries and stresses that had weighed her down just moments ago, began to lift and she was left only with the sweet promise of peace.

She should have known it wouldn’t be that simple.

“Can we not do this tonight?” She whispered into her pillow.

Kylo’s breathing rang in her ear like a bell. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel the weight of him suddenly appear in the space next to her. It was as if her bed had doubled in size to compensate for the sudden doubling of occupants. She could feel every move he made as it rippled across the bedding and she even noticed a rise in temperature building between them as if they were actually inches apart. He froze at the sound of her voice. Her own breath caught as she waited for him to react, and was genuinely unsure what he would do. It took him a moment, but eventually, he relaxed and sank back down into his bedding with a sigh.

“It’s not like I wanted to do this either,” he answered in an equally exhausted tone.

At first, she tried to ignore him. Sleep had been close just moments ago and she wouldn’t let him deny her the good night’s rest she so desperately needed. Keeping her eyes squeezed shut, she rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. She tried to block out the sounds of him just being by covering her ears with her blanket. Of course, it was no use. There was no real noise to block out. Every breath, every little move he made was broadcasted directly into her mind and refused to let her forget his presence. She could hear him in her head and feel him through the bed. It was frustrating, but her exhaustion could not be denied. No matter how annoyed she felt, she simply didn’t have the energy to try to send him away. At least that’s what she told herself.

“We need to learn how to control this thing,” she sighed into the darkness.

“I believe that would only result in more contact,” he replied after a careful silence, “and you made it very clear you didn’t want to see me.”

Giving in, she rolled over to look at him. It was dark where ever he was. Only a small amount of light was able to outline his body and sleeping attire. Or lack thereof. What he slept on looked like the literal definition of luxury with a large pillow under his head and a silk blanket on his torso. He had turned on his side to look at her beneath disheveled hair. Even with his locks fallen over his eyes, she could see he was as tired as she and not in the mood to fight.

“Do you really want to discuss this now?” she asked was tucked her pillow under her head.

“Not really,” he admitted with a yawn. “But if we won’t be able to fall asleep we might as well talk about something.”

Rey frowned. “Then what would you suggest?”

He was quiet for a moment. Even in the dark, she could see him look over her face in search of something. For a moment, she thought she caught his gaze stalling at her lips, but the moment was gone too quickly for her to be sure. Maybe it was the silence or the intense look in his eye, but Rey felt her heart quicken.

“How are you?”

She couldn’t help the small smile that slipped on her face. It was both the most inappropriate and sincere question he could have asked. Despite everything, she couldn't help but find it endearing. “I’m alright.”

“Good,” he breathed genuinely sounding relieved. “I wasn’t sure after… what happened.”

“I’m tough.”

“I know.”

The edge of his mouth began to match hers. Rey could almost physically see something cross his mind.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said, but when his smile only widened he continued, “I just thought of how you tried to shoot me the first time we talked like this.”

“I was trying to kill you.”

“I know. I thought it was cute.”

She rolled her eyes but blushed anyway. “And what about you? Are you enjoying life at the top?”

His smile immediately vanished. Whatever comfort had built up between them instantly evaporated as Kylo’s eyes cooled into a serious stare. Rey’s gaze was drawn to his lips which hung ajar as he tried to form words. “Not really.”

Her eyes met his. They weren’t angry like the last time she had seen him. When he was yelling at her and begging her to stay with him. That fire was long gone. In fact, in that moment there wasn’t much left of the man she had fought with that day. He just looked tired and desperate to find just a moment of peace. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from searching for him.

“Why?” she asked quietly.

He tilted his head down ever so slightly. It was a subtle change, but it Rey would have seen any movement he made and he knew it.

“It’s rather lonely.”

Rey couldn’t breathe. She closed his eyes to escape his gaze and try to hide the guilt building in her stomach. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“You know what.” Her eyes snapped open, but she couldn't find the will to sharpen her gaze. “You made your choice, Ben. You knew I couldn’t follow.”

“I had hoped….”

He trailed off. Despite the darkness, Rey could see his eyes clearly. They were just as wide and open as they had been before everything had happened. They stared into her intently and made them feel so close despite being light years away. It was like if she reached out to him, her hands would touch him. Like she'sd be able to push back his disheveled hair and feel the heat from his forehead. Just the thought of it made her want him to be real. For him to really be there, lying next to her, in her bed. 

“Never mind,” he said with a hint of a smile. “It is too late to be worrying about that now.”

“It’s not like we’re going to get any sleep,” she told him breathlessly.

“No, but…” he sighed sadly, “Just not tonight.” 

His movement under his blanket exposed his long pale hand. Rey’s heart was pounding as she watched it lift up to his face and place it gently in the space between them. It was a small gesture, however it was deliberate. It was a peace offering, but only a temporary one. The promise it made would only last the night and then they would be back where they had started once their suns had risen. She looked at it for a moment, studying every line and scare it held, before looking back up at him. His smile had faded, but its warmth didn’t. There was still a glimmer in his eyes as he waited that was patient and did not expect anything. Only offered.

Gently, Rey lifted her hand out of the covers. It had a slight tremor as she dragged it over the sheets toward him. There was no indication where his bed began and hers ended. The force has blended their surroundings so seamlessly, there was not even a change of temperature as she reached out to him. She let her hand hover over his for a moment, before carefully placing it on top of his. They both ceased to breathe in fear of another vision, but none came. The only thing that changed was the warmth of his hand rising up into her skin. His large hand dwarfed hers yet was soft under her touch. For a moment, she could feel him tense, unsure of what to do. But, after a moment, he turned his hand over so their palms could meet and their fingers could lace together. 

Connected, his surprise was plain, but so was a feeling of contentment. A sense of peace washed over them as they finally gave into their connection and embraced it wholeheartedly. She wondered if he could feel her feelings as clearly as she felt his. His earlier expression of loneliness was now open entirely to her in all of its complexities. It should have affected her, perhaps even scare her, but it was over as quickly as it came. It was like once they had exposed themselves to each other, they could just let it go. They could exist together and find peace in the way they balanced the other. At least for tonight.

They could have stared at each other for hours, but eventually, his eyes began to drift. A small smile formed on his lips before whispering, “Goodnight, Rey.”

Her own eyes mirrored his as they slid close. Even a smile spread across her face as felt the familiar feeling of sleep came. Before she gave in, she tightened her grip on his hand and whispered.  
“Goodnight, Ben.”  
* * *  
A loud bang on the door woke her up the next morning.

She jumped at the sound and squeezed her hand tightly. For a second, She was actually panicked to find it empty. Her eyes flashed open and realized she was once again alone. Her arm was outstretched toward the wall which now blocked where he had been just hours ago. Light was streaming in from a viewport so that Rey could stare at the dingy wall for longer than she needed to. She knew he hadn’t really been there, but she missed him nonetheless. She knew the moment she sat up, they’d be back where they started and the bliss of the night before would be gone, maybe forever. It was a hopeless thing to mourn, but she did so anyway. She gave herself another moment, before making herself get up to face reality.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I just saw the Last Jedi and cannot get over it! I saw a post by @marieunicorngurl on Tumblr and just had to write SOMETHING ^.^ Just a bit of fluff to usher in the new age of the Star Wars Fandom! Come forth, my friends! WE HAVE BEEN VALIDATED!!!


End file.
